FearLess is a charity that has been tackling abuse, sexual violence and stalking for over 30 years, aiming to break the cycle of abuse. Before tomorrow’s International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women and the following 16 days of activism, this article by the charity explains what they do and how you can help.
Every week in England and Wales, two women will be murdered by their abusive partner. Since the pandemic, reported instances of domestic abuse have more than doubled. Yet, this is only the tip of the iceberg.
Living a life in an abusive relationship is soul destroying. As a charity, we support adults and children who would rather commit suicide than carry on. Yet for people who have been controlled, coerced and demoralised, asking for help and support takes strength, faith and courage. We know a person can experience up to 50 instances of abuse before they are able to report it, for the moment someone leaves a relationship is when their life is most at risk.
One in three of the people we support has a serious threat on their life. This threat is compounded by the fact that one person in three also struggles with severe mental health issues and one in five is trapped in poverty. Despite the need, escaping feels impossible.
For victims who do manage to leave, they often find themselves with significant debts, run up by the abuser in their name, isolated from their connections and work and struggling with PTSD and anxiety. Some, many with young children, will have to keep moving for fear of being found, having only just escaped with the clothes on their backs.
While essential, supporting the victim and their family doesn’t solve the problem. Abuse is cyclical. One in seven children in the UK witnesses or experiences domestic abuse. One in eight of those will grow up to become a perpetrator of abuse themselves. Without intervention, we know perpetrators continue to abuse their subsequent partners.
As a charity, we know that to break the cycle of abuse, we need to tackle the cause as well as the effect.
FearLess has been tackling abuse, sexual violence and stalking for over 30 years. Our aim is to break that cycle of abuse and our professional and dedicated teams work in communities across south-west England, undertaking domestic abuse outreach work; providing personalised support services to help victims end their abusive relationships and overcome the trauma of sexual violence and stalking; supporting children and young people affected by abuse to move on with their lives; and running voluntary programmes for perpetrators to help them change their behaviour.
Through this holistic approach we change lives, provide hope for the future and give people the opportunity and skills to flourish in their future relationships.
Not just for the short term, not just until the next time. But permanently.
Last year we supported over 10,000 people in need yet calls for help continue to increase by 26 per cent every year.
On this International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women and for the following 16 days of activism, we’re calling on readers to help us raise awareness of the signs of abuse and to recognise them among friends and family over the Christmas period. With one in three women and one in six men experiencing abuse at some point in their life, it’s likely that up to 30 per cent of the people in your workplace or social circle are experiencing abuse right now.
Key signs to look out for:
- Unexplained or inappropriately explained injuries including cuts, scratches, bruising or burns.
- Exhibiting untypical self-harm.
- Changes in normal behaviour including flinching at physical contact, appearing frightened or subdued, unusually aggressive.
- Change in dress style, always choosing to wear clothes which cover their body.
If you think someone is being abused:
- Have an open and direct conversation. You may start a conversation by saying something like, “I’m worried about you because …” or “I’m concerned about your safety…”
- Listen to them attentively.
- Acknowledge that it takes a lot of courage and strength to talk to someone about experiencing abuse.
- Importantly signpost them to professional support. Visit us at fear-less.org.uk for support across Wiltshire and Devon or contact Refuge and Women’s Aid for national 24/7 support.
What else can you do to help?
Every December, police attend 20 per cent more incidents of domestic abuse. This year, you can help stop that. Join our 16-Day Challenge and raise £160 in 16 days.
You can choose anything you like to do on one day or across the 16 days to help you raise that £160 for FearLess. From a 16-mile sponsored walk, a daily 1km swim, 16 days of wearing pyjamas to work or even a bake sale with 160 cupcakes.
It’s a great opportunity to have fun and you can do the challenge alone or with family, friends and colleagues.
Your impact
£10 could buy a ‘pay as you go’ handset for a victim needing to make safe contact.
£50 could buy an emergency food voucher to feed an adult and two children for a week.
£100 could buy a hotel room for a victim and children as an emergency place of safety.
£300 could fund a full therapy course to help a victim who has been sexually abused.
£2,400 could fund training for a domestic abuse or sexual violence support worker qualification, enabling them to help hundreds more victims.
Visit our International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women collection for free articles, introductory chapters and 50% off all Gender books with the code EVAW50 until 10 December.
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